Don't Know what you got 'til it's gone

I need to vent!!! This post is mostly just for me so I can copy this over to my journal. It is my own pity party so you have been warned if you proceed.
I didn't realize how badly I wanted a girl until I lost mine. It is nice having the gospel knowledge that I will have her again. However, in this life I wll never get to do girl things with her. I will never buy her her first Barbie or her first dollhouse. I won't get to design her blessing gown like I wanted. The biggest thing I am going to miss is watching her daddy fall in love with her. He is a great dad to boys but I know Emma would have been his princess. She would have had him wrapped around her little finger. And it hurts to know that I won't get those opportunities in this life. It is easy to say why me and I know that does me no good but I still want to scream it. Why can't I have the opportunity on this Earth to raise Emma?