Our tree hunt

This year due to all the snow and lack of resources to deal with it we decided not to cut down our own tree. Instead we went to Lowe's and got a tree from there. It wasn't nearly as fun but it was still quite an adventure trying to get the tree and all of us home. Andy ended up going back the next day and picking it up. We also picked out a mini tree to take to Emma.


After the tree adventure we came home and made ornaments for the tree for FHE.

Thanksgiving

We had a fun Thanksgiving weekend spent with family that was here from far away and tons of yummy food. As I was looking through my pictures I was shocked I didn't take more pictures of the fun. Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday. I love reflecting on all the blessings we have been given. This year it was hard seeing through the bleakness but we were able to see the hand of the Lord in our lives immensely over the last couple of months.


The boys with cousin Natalie

The 3 musketeers!! These cousins were all born within 9 months of each other.

Birthday celebrations

Dad and Logan watching the storm that stranded us for an extra day.

Crazy Weather

We had been warned for a few days about an awful blizzard that was suppose to hit the day before Thanksgiving. They let the kids out of school early so that busses were not on the road when it hit. Well the weather folks were right on with this one. At about 3:30 the wind started blowing and shortly thereafter the visibility was 0. I was glad to have my family home and watching it from my warm house. We even got some art work on the windows thanks to the wind and snow.






This is what blew up four stairs on to our porch.

Lunch with the Elves and Grandma

While Andy and Alex were at a BYU game Logan and I met grandma for lunch. We decided to go to Gardner Village to see the elves. We had a ton of fun!! I can't believe I didn't get one picture of Logan and grandma.


The next morning we got up to a winter wonderland. It made it beautiful outside but no fun to travel in.

To Emma

Ten tiny fingers
And ten tiny toes
One darling little mouth
And a little button nose
We got to admire all of them
For only a short while
But my heart still aches for you
I want to see you smile
I long to feel you close to me
And sing you a lullaby
But instead I just have a memory Box
And my heart cries out why?
I so don't understand it
But someday I hope I do
Please baby girl help your mama
Its so tough to get through!!!

Primary Program

This was Logan's very first program. Both boys did a great job and I can hardly believe how big they both are.

Go Aggies, Go Aggies. Hey, hey, hey!!!

We had some friends give us their tickets to the Aggie game Saturday night. It was so much fun to spend time together as a family.



Blurry picture but we had to take a picture of Big Blue. Logan loved how he came out of the scoreboard.

My Dilemma

I am truly struggling with how to deal with my grief and not bruden others with it. My blog is where I have always gone to express myself as it is my journal. I am very bad at writing in an actual journal but I am always in front of my computer so it is easier to reach for my keyboard over a pen. Here is where my dilemma comes in: I want so bad to say what is in my heart. I want to be able to express tha pain of my loss hoping that it helps others going through this feel normal. At the same time I don't want others to stop reading my blog because it is so depressing. I am almost caught up with my before Emma life so hopefully it will be fun sprinkled in with sadness posts so hopefully it will be a partly cloudy blog.
I feel a lot like Eeyore lately with a constant cloud over my head. Last night as I was crying over the headstone book Logan came downstairs. He asked me, "Do you love baby Emma?" I answered yes I did and his cute little self then said, "why are you crying?" It made me smile. I am glad for my boys because they truly are my rainbows. So back to my dillema. Do I start a new private blog just to share my sadness and woes so others don't have to deal with it or do I continue posting it here and figure if people don't want to read it they don't have to? I never knew grief was so complicated.

Pumpkin Carving

Pumpkin carving this year was a little more dramatic then in year's past. Alex tried to do something a little out of the box and it didn't end up working. Logan did a great job but ended up dropping it as he got it off the table and it broke in half. Overall, the pumpkins were carved and we had fun.

Logan cleaning out the guts

Alex's turn

Logan's cute pumpkin

An artist at work

Later on Halloween night we made it look like it was all intentional.

A horrible accident

Alex's masterpiece

For our baby girl

Halloween

It was hard this year watching Alex grow up. when we went to pick out his costume he wanted something scary. He also told me he wanted to go out with his friends and not his family on Halloween. When did he get so big?
Our Halloween was jam packed with lots of fun activities.We went trick-or-treating at a local store and went out to lunch with some friends in the afternoon. This made for a late nap for Logan. Alex decided he was big enough so he went to our ward trunk-or-treat with some of his friends. After Alex had been loaded down with treats and Logan had plenty of sleep we made our witches brew. By drinking the brew you are invisible to all the witches and goblins. I think we should have also had some rain brew. As soon as we stepped outside it started to pour. We still went out and had a lot of fun. The best part was seeing the double rainbow that I am sure Emma sent to say hi.

Trick or treating at the store

Alex preparing the brew

Casting spells with the brew

Logan the Train

Alex the scary zombie

Double rainbow

Alex's haul

Logan's haul