Last night my hubby and I went to hob nob with some political folks here. It was a really nice evening.
As I sat down my hubby introduced me to the other people at the table. Then it hit me, if they ask how many kids I have what do I say? I asked hubby and he said we have 2. But I don't have 2, I have 3. How do I include our sweet baby girl without making everyone feel awkward? Thankfully, no one asked but it got me thinking. I still am not sure how to answer. Hopefully, the next time I am asked I will have figured it out. It is the simple things in life that I use to take for granted that now are the hard things.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
A question I always thought had an easy answer
Posted by A & M Ras at 8:11 AM
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2 comments:
For a long time, I had major guilt if I didn't include Zoey in the kid count, or if, when pregnant with Ryan, people asked if it was my first. After a while, I learned to pick and choose who I wanted to say something to. If it was a checker in a store that I was not likely to ever encounter again, I usually didn't include her (which was HARD). If it was someone new at church, who I knew I'd be seeing repeatedly, I did include her and share a bit of my story. Eventually, I just learned to feel out the situation and follow promptings for what to say. More than once, I've included Zoey in the count when talking to a stranger and found that they or someone close to them had a similar experience and been able to exchange a meaningful conversation. Just go with your gut....and remember that even if you don't include her in the count, it doesn't mean you love her less or feel she is not a part of your family.
Several years ago I read an article in a magazine about this very topic that had some great advice. If I can find it, I'll pass the link on to you.
My sister was a stillborn (she would be 24 now) and I still say I am number five out of nine kids. Sometimes I clarify by saying I have seven living brothers and sisters. I wish I could tell you what to say. That would definitely be hard. Just say what your heart tells you to. I just wish I could make everything better! {{{hugs}}}
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