Emma Lillian

I am so far behind in my blogging but I couldn't sleep tonight so what to do at 4 am then to blog. I am not even sure where to start with this post. Our sweet baby girl was born on Sept 21st at 2 am. I know I am so far behind we haven't even announced I was expecting. I went in on Monday for a regular appointment, I was 23 weeks. The doctor was having a hard time finding a heartbeat so she took us back for an ultrasound to see what the "little stinker" was doing. As soon as the picture come up of the chest I could see the little heart, still. The doctor turned to me and said, "Marissa there is no heartbeat. I am so sorry." I was lucky that Andy had decided to go to the appointment with me. The doctor left the ultrasound room and I cried while he called his parents to come up and help with the boys. After dropping Logan off with a friend we headed to the hospital. They induced me about 1:30. That was the longest 12 hours of my life. We didn't find out the gender of the baby at the ultrasound so after I delivered I was anxiously waiting to hear. Finally one of the nurses asked the other and she said, "It's a girl." They asked if I wanted to hold her and of course I did. She was the sweetest, most beautiful thing ever. They asked if we had a name and Andy looked at me and said what about Emma. It just seemed right. Emma Smith was truly an elect lady who was so strong and valiant. Lillian is after my great aunt who has always meant a lot to me. I held her and loved on her and then passed her off to Andy who did the same. Then a group called SHARE came in and took her from us to bathe and dress her. They took some precious pictures of her as well as doing molds of her hands and feet. They brought her back to me after about an hour and we kept her with us for a few more hours. I have lost count of how many times I have looked at those pictures over the last 2 days. We will be burying her next to my grandpa and great-grandpa in American Fork on Friday.
At times like these the gospel is so real and I have felt the love of my Father in Heaven circle me and hold me while I cried. My husband has been fantastic and has just let me loose it while he held me, done all the household stuff while I have tried to figure out all the plans. We have had wonderful family and friends that have encircled us and given us strength through meals and gifts that have truly been answers to our prayers. I know my Father in Heaven lives. He has a plan and a purpose for all of us. I am grateful to him for allowing me to be a vessel for our sweet angel. I am grateful for the Plan of Salvation that I know without a doubt that I will see my baby girl again and get to hold her, love her and have tickle fights with her. I will get to see her wrap herself around her daddy's finger. The gospel truly gives us hope of a better life yet to be and for that I am truly grateful.