Just my emotional day!!

I promise the festivities of the week post will be coming but I am having a thought provoking day and as this is my journal I am posting this.
I love this time of year! I am so grateful for so many things. It is nice to have a time when I can reflect on how truly blessed I am.
Today at church for the rest hymn we sang "Each Life that Touches ours for good." Two things were wrong with this song. 1st why do we sing such slow songs for our rest hymns. 2nd this is a funeral song and should not be sung at church, IMO.
Let me back track just a bit. Last night when we got back from SLC I played our phone messages. The last message was from one of my dear friends who I have not seen for two years. We talk on the phone constantly but have not seen each other. She was on her way home and was passing through Logan and wanted to stop by. I was so sad I had missed her. We were only neighbors for 6 short months but we hit it off and have been best friends since. There are not very many people I can bond with so quickly. I truly do miss her!!
Anyway back to church. As we started singing this song I thought of my sweet mission mom who passed away from cancer right after I came home from my mission. As we sang the second verse I was in tears. "What greater gift dost thou bestow. What greater goodness can we know Than Christlike friends whose gentle ways, Strengthen our faith enrich our days." I had never really listened to those words before and I was in tears. I am a lot like Shrek, "Ogres are like onions we have layers", or something to that effect. Not too many people in my life can get to the innermost part of me. I am a very private person and there are very few people around me who know the true me. I would like to be a more outgoing and social person but that is not who I am. There are maybe 10 people in my life right now that know the true me. Who truly know my heartaches and my struggles. I appreciate all of them and for their willingness to put up with me. I apologize to those who I seem stand offish to who try and get to know me but can't get past my layers. I tell myself quite often that I am going to be better and more friendly but it is truly a struggle for me.
Wow this post got way deep for a bit. To the point now. I am grateful for those friends that I have that I know I can call any time day or night and they will be there for me. Kelsie, we need to do lunch when you come up for Christmas. I already told Andy I did not care what had to be done but I need a Kelsie fix. So lets make it happen. Thanks to all of my friends who have been able to get through the layers. Who have helped me as I struggle to understand and say, "Why me?" This has been a tough 3 years for me and I hope someday I can look back and say wow I made it through. Thank you dear friends for being there as I have opened my heart to you. You know who you are. I thank my Father in Heaven daily for you.